Hot Sydney Summer

We have had some hot humid days here in Sydney over the last month and we are expecting more over the next couple of days. We also have a long weekend here so I am very much looking forward to spending some time with friends over the weekend while avoiding the heat as much as possible.

Last weekend was the first JackALL Club event of the year. For those that don't know this is a jack off club I started mid last year here in Sydney. It was a great group of guys who turned up (and braved the heat) and we even had a special guest from London. We finished the afternoon all cumming on Dan who had earlier volunteered to take our cum! Hot!

I want to encourage all the readers to find their local jack off club. If you are unsure or want to meet some people first then I encourage you to join the Friends of the Jacks Discord group where you can meet others who attend, ask questions, etc. The other place you can go if you want to know if there is a club near you is the great map that Robert Black has been compiling on this website. But seriously make it your goal to at least attend one event this year.

The next thing I want to encourage you to come to is the Master Bator Convention. This is taking place from the 2nd of August until the 5th of August in Pittsburgh. I will be in attendance along with my great pal Nick (who I do a weekly Twitter Space with) and so I would also like to meet some of you there as well. So put it in your diaries now and head to the website for more details.

As I asked for last week I am still looking for any ideas of guests or topics you want to see covered. So if there is someone in the Bate Community you follow or something you have seen on Bateworld or the Bator Blog that has interested you share them with me.

Why We Bate

Last issue we discussed our bate intentions for the year and how we could improve the quality of our bates, I thought this issue we would turn to an exploration of the reasons we bate. This is a topic I have explored before and something I think is worth remembering and re-exploring occasionally as well. Some of our reasons are very straightforward and simple. Some of them are complex and would need a lot of introspection and possibly the help of a professional to uncover. But whatever they are, they can and do change from one moment to the next. So let’s head on in.

Often we start our bate practice because we feel horny. This feeling of horniness is usually a bodily want or need in the sense that it feels to us as a biological want or need. We have all experienced some level of feeling more or less horny at different parts of our lives and so it feels to us that this is driven by something other than an individual want. It’s more then likely that this is part of an evolutionary mechanism to encourage us to procreate.

Another reason we may engage in bating is because we can. While this might seem like the opposite of what we are talking about, i.e. is not a reason, I think it’s an equally important reason. I’m sure we’ve all experienced moments when we’ve just wanted to do something to fill in time, whether that’s completing a puzzle, reading a book, or simply watching some tv. These moments where we have nothing else that we want to do are often filled with activities we enjoy just because. Using our bate during these moments is equally valid as any other activity we might undertake during these moments.

But sometimes we don’t fit into those two states, horny or relaxing. Instead we might feel another emotion, such as sad, happy, frustrated. During these times we may turn to bating as a way to improve our moods, escape our moods, or even to celebrate our mood. Through bating we release endorphins and other chemicals that can aid us in changing or modifying our moods. Because we are also focusing on something else it can help us to forget our current mood and change it to another.

While I, and probably you, have definitely bated for all sorts of different emotions, one which I think is particularly important to explore is loneliness. First I want to say it is totally normal to sometimes feel or experience loneliness. I also want to say that it is not something you always can recognise in yourself or others and we often feel judged for expressing our loneliness. But that doesn’t mean we don’t experience it. Something I’m sure we’ve all done is bate when we’ve been lonely. So why?

I believe there are many reasons we might bate when we are feeling lonely. We can bate to find connections (through online chat rooms), or we can bate to change our emotional state. The way in which it works to change our emotional state is by making us feel another one. Pleasure. We can use our self pleasure as way of taking away the feelings of loneliness. As I said before bating is a great way of masking or modifying our emotional states. So why not bate when you’re feeling alone?

What we are really talking about here is what is often call a self soothing technique. At its basic formulation this is the practice of using particular behaviours or techniques to regulate your emotional state. We usually learn these as a baby or a child as ways in which we can regulate our emotions on our own. So we may self sooth when we are feeling particularly worried or sad about our life or certain events. In this way we can see our bating as a self soothing technique we use to regulate our emotional states.

This self soothing also equally applies to other emotional states we may experience from time to time. We may feel sad about an event in our life so we may bate to self soothe. Or we may feel angry with someone and so turn to bating to release our anger. Whatever emotion we are feeling we can and will use a variety of self soothing techniques on ourselves and one of them I have used many times, and I am sure other guys have as well, is turning to bating and bate practice as a way of regulating those emotional states.

So to recap some of the reasons we may bate. Sometimes we are going to turn to bating as we feel a bodily want or need, horniness, to do so. The second reason we are going to bate is because we want to be entertained, which may occur because we have free time or we may be bored. The last reason is because of other kinds of emotions, both happy and sad. We can use bating as a tool to self soothe and regulate our emotions.

As you can see the underlying reasons we bate do not always have to be so deep. They can sometimes just be simple. But equally if you notice particular emotions and experiences leading to bating all the time, then I want you to check in with them. Sit with those emotions. Then bate.

It is always good to check in with ourselves and our reasons for bating. This along with thinking about what a quality bate looks like for us should help us to form healthy bating habits and practices (though what is even healthy is a debate for another time). I love bating and I love spending time pleasuring myself and others.

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Thanks as always! Till next time Bators!
Ben

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